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One of the most important skills for your child to develop is good communication, which is vital to their ability to make friends, excel in school and problem solve. A shy child may have particular trouble with communication not because they don’t know what they want to say, but because they lack the confidence to say it.

Set the example of good communication by maintaining an open dialogue with your child. Ask questions that encourage them to talk to you about their concerns, achievements, and hopes, and sincerely listen to what they tell you. Knowing that they can talk to you openly will increase their confidence.

When you ask them how their day was, don’t just accept “fine” as an answer. Ask specific questions that invite them to share with you. Instead of “How was your day?” ask them “What did you read in class today?” or “What happened at recess?” By asking specific questions you show your child that you really care what is going on in their lives, even when you’re not there.

Once you start this dialogue, it will be easier for your kids to come to you with something that is bothering them without having to ask them about it first. This is an important part of communication because there are some problems all of us—not just our children—need help solving. They can’t be afraid to go to you to ask for help.

The same goes for school. If you teach your children that teachers are people they should look up to, they will have more respect for them. As a result of that respect they will forge better relationships with their teachers, and then won’t be afraid to ask for help if something goes over their head.

A child that lacks the confidence to ask questions is at great risk of falling behind in class. If they don’t ask questions and participate, not only will this affect their grades but also their ability to grasp the material being taught. Everyone learns at a different pace, but with good communication skills your child won’t be afraid to ask for help when he needs it.

Outside of the classroom, good communication is important to how your child makes friends. If he is too shy to talk to others, he is going to have a hard time meeting new people. If you teach your child communication through the environment you create at home, they can carry those skills with them to the schoolyard.

Good communication, for children especially, is all about being comfortable. They are not going to put themselves forward in a situation where they feel awkward or embarrassed. Creating a comfortable environment helps your child feel more at ease and enables him to overcome his shyness. Your child may find this environment in a sport, activity, or hobby that he enjoys. Isabel Zaleski-Linde has noticed an improvement in her daughter Meadow’s communication level since Meadow began karate class.

“Meadow’s level of shyness has decreased. She’s no longer afraid to be in a crowd and she opens up to me a lot more,” Isabel said. “She has much more confidence in herself and seems to be a lot more outgoing.”

Joining karate class has given Meadow a comfortable environment where she can build her confidence. She is treated with respect, she is learning about confidence, persistence, and self-control, she is surrounded by her fellow classmates, and—most importantly of all—she is having fun. Finding something that your child enjoys doing will help him gain confidence and overcome his shyness, thus increasing his communication skills.

Contributed by Solomon Brenner author of Black belt Parenting “the art of raising your child for success” This week we are inviting your family for a free focus and concentration seminar.  call to reserve your limited spot 215-355-5003

Not every child is a “joiner.” Some would prefer to do things on their own or play with a few other children to joining a sports team or other activity. While there is nothing wrong with that kind of independence, it is important for your child to try new things. He could unlock some hidden potential and discover something that he really loves to do.

Jeff Contino has noticed a big difference in his children because of their involvement in karate class.

“Since Luke and Jenna started at karate, they have shown an increased willingness to do activities that they have never attempted before. This includes participating in sports and other group activities,” he said. “They have also displayed an increased confidence in all aspects of their lives, such as playing together at home, involvement in school and playing with other kids.”

Your child may be too shy to try something new. Joining a new activity with another child he knows from school or the neighborhood could help ease him into it. Once he has found something he likes, he will have an increased confidence that will help him overcome his fear of trying new things and meeting new people.

Contributed by Solomon Brenner Master instructor of Action Karate for question or Holiday specials call 1888-99 Shark Check out his Blog at http://mastersolomonbrenner.tumblr.com/

When your child is having trouble in school, it’s never right to assume it’s from lack of trying. There are a number of reasons why your child may not be doing as well as he could. Maybe he lacks the motivation he needs to keep going when assignments and tests get difficult. He could be embarrassed to participate in class for fear of getting an answer wrong. It could even be that he has trouble maintaining his focus in class.

To help keep your child motivated in school he has to take an active part in his education. This means participating in class, completing assignments and asking questions. This may seem frightening to some children who would rather sit quietly than risk making a mistake in front of their classmates, but it’s the only way for them to reach their full potential.

Help motivate your child in school by teaching him how to set goals. Focus on small goals before going for the big picture. For example, instead of setting a goal to get an A in math on his next report card, your child should set a goal to get an A on the next test, or even more specifically than that, to practice his math problems every night. Focusing on small tasks as a means to reach a big goal make the goal seem more attainable.

You should always celebrate with your child when he reaches a goal. This can even be added incentive to make him work his hardest. You could tell him you will take him bowling or to his favorite restaurant when he gets that A in math. After the celebration comes another important step: set the next goal.

Your child may need help with class participation. It takes confidence to raise your hand to answer a question, write your answers on the blackboard or volunteer to help in class; however, this type of participation is necessary for your child to get the most out of his education. So how do you make your child more confident?

Start by finding something he loves to do, whether it is baseball, ballet, painting, or any other activity your child is enthusiastic about. Chances are if they enjoy doing something they will be more apt to take an active role in it. This proactive approach means they will be building their skills, something that definitely increases confidence.

Mary Barrett saw a big difference in her son Christopher’s confidence in only a short time after he started doing karate. “He has shown a great improvement in his school work,” she said. “His teachers have also seen the difference in him; he participates more in class and shows more self-control.”

The start of a new school year is the perfect opportunity to find new ways to jumpstart your child’s education. All he may need is a little bit of confidence and dedication to reach his full scholastic potential. Karate is an activity that can give him what he needs to succeed, whether that is more focus, the courage to stand up to peer pressure, or increased confidence. Whatever method you choose for helping your child improve in school, let him know that as long as he puts forth his best effort, you will be proud of him.

Contributed by Solomon Brenner Master instructor of Action Karate and Author of Black Belt Parenting. New classes are forming now ages 2 & up Call to reserve you spot 215-355-5003

Solomon Brenner
Master Instructor Action Karate
Author Black Belt Parenting “the art of raising your child for success”

Pre-framing is developing a pattern for success as a prerequisite to achieving it. Every step of a child’s development—from their first step to college—is pre-framing for the next stage of their life. You lay the framework for the next step. You take advantage of the present to ensure that your child has a successful future.

Pre-framing your children makes practicing a habit, whether it is martial arts, a musical instrument, a sport or an academic subject.  Constant practice can only improve your child’s skill. You can’t expect your child to be good at something the first time they do it, nor can they be made to expect that of themselves. You can’t wait for success to fall into your lap. You have to earn tomorrow’s success today.

Jill Morris and her son Frankie know the value of practice as pre-framing for success. When Frankie didn’t want to go to class, Jill would ask why he doesn’t quit. She said, “His answer was always the same: ‘Mom, I can’t quit. I made a promise.’ He applies this to every challenge he faces and follows through until he succeeds.”

Reminding the child of the goal at every stage of the game is pre-framing and helps keep him or her stay motivated. Motivate your children to do the right things now so that their vision of the future becomes a reality. The more preparation, the smoother the sailing when future challenges show up.

Contributed by Solomon Brenner master instructor Action Karate and Author Black Belt Parenting “the art of raising your child for success”.  Summer classes are forming now for info please call:

215-355-5003

Solomon Brenner
Master Instructor Action Karate
Author Black Belt Parenting “the art of raising your child for success”

Successful people work through their fears and hesitations. Even when they don’t feel like giving 100 percent to a project, they do it anyway. Just because you’ve failed once does not mean you will never succeed. On the contrary, these little failures help guide us to our final success, but the only way to get there is by constant determination and persistence.

There will be times in any person’s life where they just want to throw in the towel. When it comes to your children, they need to learn that copping out is not an option in the real world. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean you should give up. In fact, often times the most difficult things are the most rewarding.

Persistence takes a lot of patience. For example if your child is struggling with math, throwing the pencil and claiming that he or she “can’t” do it is not going to make the problems any easier. If you teach your children to struggle through little trials like this at an early stage in life, the bigger hurdles will seem less intimidating.

The biggest mistake you can make is letting your children believe they “can’t” do something. This often means that they are simply too frustrated to continue trying. Frustration is normal when we are tackling something we find difficult, so help them work through their frustration. Maybe take part in an activity that releases pent-up aggression or practice breathing exercises that help calm their nerves. If you work through the frustration with them it will make the task ahead a lot less daunting. The only way your children will succeed in life is if they take the challenges head on and persevere even when they think they can’t go on anymore. This ability to persist is what will make the difference between achieving their goals and not achieving their goals.

One way to motivate your children is to track their progress on whatever challenge it is they are trying to overcome. In the example of the math problem, you could mark on a calendar how many problems your child got right on his or her homework each day. Seeing their improvement on paper will only make them want to get even better.

I see students struggle with persistence all the time at my martial arts studio. Persistence is something that we try to teach all of our students. Learning new techniques, kicks, or punches can be really frustrating, but our students know that this frustration is something they have to work through if they want to reach their goal of black belt. Susan Anderson said that martial arts training has given her daughter, Brooke, “a great deal of confidence in everything she does in school as well as at home. She does not give up when confronted with something difficult. She is very focused on what she wants to accomplish.”

Letting them give up on their goals because they get too difficult is cheating your children out of reaching their full potential. You may know how it feels to think “what if” after you have given up on a goal. “What if I had tried to make it to the Olympics?” “What if I had tried to keep my grades up to get into a good college?” We want our children to be able to live with as few regrets as possible and the only way they will be able to do that is by giving their all into everything they do. Persistence through even the hardest of times will yield a sense of accomplishment that makes it all worth the struggle.

Contributed by Solomon Brenner Author of Black Belt Parenting “the art of raising your child for success” and Master instructor of Action Karate for question write to actionkarate@comcast.net

Solomon Brenner

Master Instructor Action Karate

Author Black Belt Parenting “the art of raising your child for success”

Bullying is an issue that a lot of parents worry about. While you can certainly do your part to handle any issue your child has with bullying, there is only so much you can do for them before they have to learn to handle it on their own. There are a couple of basic strategies your child can adopt to discourage bullying.  It’s a good idea for them avoid kids they know to be bullies. By hanging around kids that are friendly, they can better avoid confrontation. They are also less likely to be bullied when they are in groups, because bullies tend to choose victims who are alone.

Another way to avoid a confrontation with a bully is to stay near an adult. They could play near an adult during break times at school or sit near the bus driver on the bus. They could also walk to school with a parent or an older sibling.

The most important element to avoiding bullies is confidence. If your child responds to a bully’s treats with self-assurance, that bully will be less likely to pick on your child. Using strong body language like standing up straight and looking others in the eye makes your child seem more confident.

To get involved in Action Karate’s 21 day Bully Proof confidence course call 215-355-5003

Back to school can be a nerve-racking time of year for kids and adults alike. It’s no wonder people sometimes get stressed out, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Turn back to school into a fun, exciting and smooth transition for you and your kids.

Even if your kids seem less than excited about the new school year, try to focus on the positive aspects of back to school. Let the kids help you make the list of school supplies, clothes and lunch foods that they need. Picking out colorful school supplies or folders with their favorite cartoon characters on them can make back to school shopping fun.

During the summer all organization seems to fly out the window. Bedtimes are undecided and snacking tends to go on all day. A few weeks before school begins, start getting your kids into a routine. Earlier bedtimes and set eating times can get them ready for the more structured day-to-day operations of school life. Also, if you have a younger child, make sure they are comfortable taking themselves to the restroom without your help so they will be able to do it by themselves when they get to school.

Most importantly, don’t forget to celebrate. When you get excited about school, so will your kids.

For a free back to school starter pack, please visit Action Karate. To find the closest location, call 1-888-99-shark!

One of the contributing factors to an increase in child obesity is that children are not staying as active as they used to. Kids need approximately 60 minutes of moderate to strenuous activity a day, something they miss if the hours are spent in front of the TV or computer. Parents should incorporate scheduled activity, as well as free time to play, into their children’s daily routines to ensure that they are taking part in the three elements of fitness: strength, endurance and flexibility.

Children, unlike adults, do not need a formal weight training session to build strength. Your children’s muscles are being worked during playtime when they swing from the monkey bars or do handstands.

Endurance is developed through aerobic activity, which strengthens the heart and improves the body’s ability to deliver oxygen to its cells when done regularly and for continuous periods of time. Kids develop their endurance from outside activities like playing tag, swimming, or skating, just to name a few.

Flexibility is developed through stretching exercises. Everyday activities like practicing tumbles and splits, touching their toes, or trying to get things that are just out of their reach increase children’s flexibility, which allows muscles and joints to bend easily through their full range of motion.

For more great tips, check out Black Belt Parenting at Amazon.com or question write to Solomon Brenner at Actionkarate@comcast.net

Solomon Brenner, Author of Black Belt Parenting

Master instructor, Action Karate

Who was your bully? You may think that bullying does not affect your child, but even if your child has never been a victim of bullying you can be sure he has witnessed it in school or on the playground. It’s important as parents to be aware that bullying affects all children in some way.

You may concentrate on whether or not your child is being bullied, but you should also consider that your child might be a bully, either by directly bullying another child or by standing by and watching as another person gets bullied. So how do you spot a bully? Bullies usually exhibit disrespectful behavior to peers, teachers and even parents. Other signs may include underachievement in school, stealing, and blaming others for misbehavior. While these signs may indicate bullying, they are not failsafe. Sometimes a bully will keep a low profile and will not be easily identified.

Since most parents do not actually see their children being bullied, how do they know if their child has been a victim of bullying? Children may feel embarrassed or threatened about going to an adult about being bullied, so a parent should investigate by asking questions and letting their children know that they can come to them with any problem they may have.

For more information, please call 215-355-5003

For a free report on bully proofing your child email actionkarate@comcast.net

Spring is here at last, and after those long cold winter months your kids will be itching to get out of the house as fast as their feet will carry them. While this fine weather will afford them a chance for what is probably some much needed physical activity, make sure your kids know some basic safety rules before running off for the playground.

1. Make sure they tell you where they go. It is important to know where your child will be playing, whether it’s in your own backyard, down the street or at a friend’s house. This way if an emergency comes up, you know where to find them.
2. Teach your child to use playground equipment properly. Make sure your kids know not to get off a seesaw too quickly, or walk in front of a moving swing. They should also take turns using the equipment when the playground is crowded to prevent accidents.
3. Tell your child to never play in the street or in parking lots. Even if you live on a generally quiet street, it is important that your kids stick to yards or sidewalks. Someone backing out of their driveway may not see a child run out behind them. They should always remember to look both ways before crossing the street, as well.
4. Teach your children to never talk to strangers. Tell your kids about the different ways strangers try to lure them, like offering them candy or asking for help, so that they are not taken in by such tricks.

For a free class on staying safe and injury free with spring sports call 215-355-5003

Mr. Brenner

Author Black Belt Parenting

Master Instructor, Action Karate