Archive for January, 2008

Listen With Unconditional Love

One of the biggest challenges you will face as your children get older is keeping a healthy, open relationship. The key to any relationship is communication. We all know how important it is to talk to our kids, especially about tough issues like bullying, peer pressure and safety. But it is equally important, perhaps more so, to listen to your children. Listening and taking an interest in their conversation can bring you closer and keep you close as they get older.

Good communication with your children should start almost as soon as they learn to talk. As they go through their “why” phase- “Why is the sky blue?” “Why does Tommy have different color skin than me?”- it is important to give them honest answers in a way they can understand, even if it may make you a little uncomfortable. Doing so earns their trust so they feel comfortable coming to your for answers.

No matter how insignificant a problem your child has may seem to you, it is important give it proper consideration. By listening to their problems and helping them work them out or asking the right questions to enable them to work the problems out for themselves, you are encouraging them to come to you whenever they have a problem. It is important that they feel like they can go to you when something is wrong, especially as your children get older and the issues they face get more difficult and dangerous.

With everyone’s busy schedules, it can be challenging to find opportunities to talk with your children. Asking them about their day at dinner or turning off the TV for a half an hour can help your line of communication open. Since you may not always be in the same place at the same time as your kids, sometimes it’s necessary to plan ahead to spend time together. Taking your son on a fishing trip or hitting the mall with your daughter can provide time for fun and conversation. Pay attention to details and ask follow up questions. Sometimes it’s easy to ask, “how was your day” without even paying attention to the answer. Asking them specific questions will show them that you are truly interested in what they have to say.

Listening to your kids also gives you insight into their world. Ask them what music they like, what they like to do for fun with their friends and what’s considered cool or uncool. They think you are uncool for not knowing, but they will appreciate your interest all the same. It will help you get to know your children better as their likes and dislikes change. Don’t be afraid to introduce the topics of drugs and alcohol. If you start talking about the dangerous effects of substance abuse when they are young, it will be a no-brainer when the time comes to say no. They will know what the right decision is, and that will give them the courage they need to stand up to peer pressure.

No matter what the issue, whether your six-year-old feels bad about himself because he’s a slow reader or your ten-year-old wants to know why she can’t wear makeup like her big sister, it’s important to treat your children’s concerns with the respect that you expect your children to show for you. Listening to their problems, helping them overcome them, and being their whenever they just need to vent can help you maintain a healthy level of comunication with your children. They may not tell you everything all the time, but at least they’ll know they can.

For a free report on “Fantastic Focus For My Child” write to actionkarate@comcast.net

Contributed by Solomon Brenner Author of Black Belt Parenting “The Art of Raising Your Child For Success.” Master Brenner uses the Action Karate to teach self control so your child will not lose their temper, be disrespectful, cry too easily and accept responsibility.

Jared Fogle Visits!

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January 2008 Recipes

Resolve to get three servings of dairy each day with our healthy, delicious snacks and meals your entire family will love. With at least a third of your daily calcium needs in each treat, you’ll help build stronger bones in the New Year. Included in this month’s recipes are a Three Cheese Chicken Cacciatore Manicotti dish, Light Cheddar and Macaroni, an Apple Yogurt Smoothie, and a Pumpkin Yogurt Cheesecake Shake.
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Your Children’s New Year’s Resolutions

87% of New Year’s resolutions are gone by February 15th, do not let that happen to you!

One great way to start the New Year off on a positive note is to set New year’s resolutions with your kids. Setting goals is one of the only true ways to make any progress. But whether it’s making the football team, getting better grades or being more involved in school, keeping resolutions seems to get harder and harder as the months progress. Here are some tips to make your family’s a reality.

First, the goal must be specific. Simply saying they want to improve their grades doesn’t give your kids something tangible to work towards. Specifying by saying what grade they want to achieve in each class, on the other hand, makes the goal more possible to reach. Being specific about their goals can help your kids think of things they can do that will help them achieve their goals.

The resolution also has to be measurable. If they can make a resolution to be more active, set a specific amount of time for physical activity each day or each week so that they will know when they have reached that goal or how much harder they have to work to reach it. If they aren’t spending the allotted time being active they can readjust their daily activities to help them get on the right track towards meeting their goal.

If the goal is attainable, it is something realistic that they can actually achieve this year. Saying that they want to graduate in one year is not a realistic, attainable goal. Setting long term goals is helpful, but you also want to set short term goals that can help them reach long term goals.

Watch out for road blocks on the road to achievement. By figuring out what obstacles might get in the way of reaching each goal before they actually occur, you and your kids will be ready to take them on when they do occur. For example, if spending too much time at practice might hinder them from reaching their goal of better grades, tell them in advance that they might have to suspend other activities until their grades are up to par so that you already know how to handle the situation.

Lastly, it’s important to set a time table when working towards goals. Giving yourself a deadline will help motivate you to put your plans into action and get things done instead of just talking about them. If your child says they want better grades, they should set a time for when he wants their grades to improve. It might be too hard to improve grades by the next report card, so they might say by the end of the school year. This way they set a time limit for when they want to achieve the goal instead of saying they want their grades to improve sometime in the future.

Look at 2008 as a chance to break the habit of resolution-breaking. Sit down with your kids and talk about what they want to accomplish this year and set a SMART game plan for how they can achieve their goals. For FREE info on how to set and achieve your goals this year, e-mail actionkarate@comcast.net.

Contributed by Solomon Brenner Author of Black Belt Parenting “The Art of Raising Your Child For Success.” Master Brenner uses the Action Karate to teach self control so your child will not lose their temper, be disrespectful, cry too easily and accept responsibility.

Start the New Year Off With Some Radical New Years Resolution’s!

Encourage your kids to make some ‘radical resolutions’ this year and emphasize the importance of finishing whatever they start. Here are a few suggestions for their list:

  • I will drink milk and water and limit soda and fruit drinks.
  • I will try to find a sport that I like (if I haven’t already) like basketball or soccer or an activity like playing tag, jumping rope, dancing or riding my bike and do it at least three times a week!
  • I will always wear a helmet when I ride my bike.
  • I will eat fruits and vegetables everyday.